"Why so blue?" she asked in my half awake dream after I finally managed to nod off. I'd been sitting up stick straight on a rickety wooden bench, keeping an eye through the bars on the thuggish guards coming and going with semi-automatic weapons.
"It was just supposed to be a temp job," I muttered. "Not a gang rape in a foreign prison. Do I look like a porn star from the seventies?" If something like that was about to go down, I had to admit one of the federales was sort of cute. Nice eyes. A shy smile. I pictured him cuffing me to the bars and forcing me to my knees. Maybe it wouldn't be so hard, pretending I liked it -- sighing, moaning, begging for more. "You're being very dramatic," Rita said. "Kind of ironic considering you're such a lousy actress." She picked at a wispy red split end. I wondered if they had a decent salon conditioner in stripper hell or if you had to go with the bargain brand. Trying to make sense of this parallel universe, if I'd been double-crossed by my big friends at the FBI, why not join forces with a dead slut I never liked to begin with? "I just wanted to be a star," I sighed. "Not a big star, just a vaguely familiar face with a speaking role here and there so I could get a decent table at Mozza. I wanted to meet a nice guy, maybe move up to the Hills, adopt a rescue dog and get into xeriscaping. Really, was any of it so wrong?"
"I should smack the crap out of you right now, you dumb bitch," she hissed. "For one thing, you're still alive, so stop talking about yourself in the past tense. Since I do not have that same luxury, you're also my only hope -- so I want you to wake up, stand up, pull yourself together and find our way out of this thing."
"Go away, Rita." I pushed her off me and laid down back down, sinking deeper into my fitful sleep. "All of this is your fault anyway.""Don't even," she shot back. "You never got arrested for running stolen diamonds with me. Or for selling internet porn, or for dealing illegal pharmaceuticals to the mob."
That mob? What mob? "Only because I didn't know about any of that," I informed her, putting up a hand. "And don't go giving me any clues from the other side, because I'd really rather stay clueless."
"Never let them run you out of town. Never get between a man and his wife," I recited. "Also never trust a stripper with her clothes on. That last one was courtesy of my pops. I guess I'm three for three."
"So it didn't work out like we thought," she said. "Time passed. I died. You became a has-been who never was. What do you want now?"
"I still want everything," I told her. "Why wouldn't I?"
"Then quit crying and go get it," she said, gritting her teeth. "Whatever it takes." She wound up and slapped me hard across the face -- awakening me with a start as the cell door clanked open. The cute one stood there with an apologetic smile, delivering a dinner of two limp corn tortillas and a puddle of re-fried beans on a flimsy aluminum tray. I knotted my hair into a ponytail, unbuttoning the top two buttons of my blouse before turning around to face him."You like something to drink?" he asked, inching a little closer to casually savor the view. "Quiere agua? Cafe?"
I looked past him to make sure the others had gone. "Tiene cerveza?" I asked. He laughed as I mimed the uncapping of a beer bottle, slugging it down. "Uno mas, por favor," I said, licking my lips. "I'm going to let you buy me a beer."