26. Three (Satin) Sheets to the Wind

At first I thought the captain wanted to make love to me like we were an old married couple and it was just another part of our morning ritual. A sliver of sunlight peeped through the curtains, igniting a glint in his eye. He rolled over, brushing a finger up my leg, murmuring something about making it fast. He was late for a meeting and traffic was bound to be bad. "I can't," I said. "Not like this." My head was throbbing and I might have still felt a little bit high from the night before -- with my mind and body not quite working together in synch.


"Just hike up your nightgown," he persisted. I pushed him away and said no, that I wanted it to be special with us after all these months. Feeling shy about him even being there, I covered myself with the slippery satin sheet. He reached up and ripped the curtains wide open, letting in a rush of light so bright I almost felt I could hide inside it. "You're not a child," he said, rolling himself on top of me and spreading my legs apart. "This isn't prom night." Crushing me with his weight as I tried to get away, he forced himself inside me, kissing me hard on the mouth. "No! I said no!" I gasped for air. "Please. I can't breathe." Tears welling in my eyes, I felt a warm trickle of blood escape from my lower lip. "You're raping me," I said.

Then Rita was lying there next to us, her shiny red hair spread out on the pillow like a ball of flame. "Just act like you like it," she said. "Don't be stupid." He leaned over and kissed her as he continued to thrust violently inside me. I tried to take her advice, to relax into him and tilt my hips up to meet his. I reached out to grab her hand and she placed it gently between her legs. When I resisted, she opened her stained red mouth and laughed.

I must have started screaming, because his hand was over my mouth and I was struggling to breathe again. "Promise you'll be quiet," he said. When I nodded my head yes, he let go -- but I spit in his face and he slapped mine, hard. I hit him in the chest with both fists, struggling to push him off me, but he pinned my arms over my head -- all the while pounding himself into me, rock hard and unforgiving.

Rita rolled over and looked into my eyes, tracing a hand over my belly -- as he came inside me, shuttering, his face turned upward into the blinding white light. "That's how I died," she whispered. "When are you going to put it together?"

"I'm sorry," I said.

I don't know what I had to be sorry about. She knew very well I wasn't a cop, how was any of it my problem if they couldn't seem to catch the right guy? I had to tell her something, though, the poor dead thing. "I promise you I'll fix it just as soon as I wake up."

I suddenly bolted upright and found myself sitting there all alone in a cold sweat -- twisted up in a bundle of pink satin sheets that had once been hers. If not for the one someone had used to carry away her dead body, the set would have been complete.

With the growing realization that it was only a dream, I couldn't have been more pissed off at both of them for taking up residence in my head like they owned the place. A girl should be able to take illegal pharmaceuticals and hallucinate without some dead chick and her big cop buddy getting all involved like we're in some freaky David Lynch movie.

I got myself showered and dressed, then noticed a neatly folded blanket and extra pillow on the futon in the living room. Had he slept outside my bedroom, guarding me like some prize he'd brought home in a cage? Or had I made the whole thing up? I honestly couldn't decide which was worse.

I jumped in my car and raced down Fountain toward the station. Punching in my code to buzz myself into the locker room, I plowed into Georgia May, standing in my path like a human wall. "You're late, Fancy Pants. Captain wants to see you in his office."

I sucked in a breath and headed upstairs, thought for a second and turned back. "I quit," I said.